I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
