haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
