We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
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Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
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Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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