i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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