Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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