I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
