I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We left an ass print on the piano.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
