You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
