Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
