Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize