He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
