the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
