i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
