he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
id be glad to
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
