If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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