you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
