I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
