yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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