i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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