i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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