yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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