Don't make out with my wife yet
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
