Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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