I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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