The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize