Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
