The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
