i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
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reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
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Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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