We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
