two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
