We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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