ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
