I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Randomize
