Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
