her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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