my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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