I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
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