for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
