I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
