I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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