My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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