i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
