White coat. Heels.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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