i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
