I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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