Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
