I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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