I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
