i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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