She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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