im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
