Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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