Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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