Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
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i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
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Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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