Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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