well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
