Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You ruined the universe
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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