so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
