just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
