So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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