once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
