Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
